It has been a year and a half since I have written anything anywhere. No blog posts, no journal entries, not much of anything anywhere. But if there were ever a time that I needed a smidgen of heaven now would be that time. The last year and a half have been a whirl wind for my little family.

January 2019 (probably the reason I stopped blogging) I had an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in emergency surgery, and weeks of really hard recovery. 
May 2019 My husband  graduated with his master's degree, and has spent the last year studying for a licensing test, taking the licensing test, not passing the test, and studying for it again. I hate to see him struggle with feelings of inadequacies because he can't pass a licensing test despite having graduated from one of the top universities with a 3.7 gpa. I sit by helpless with out any way of improving the situation for him, watching him ache, and no balm of gildean can I offer.
June, I  had an additional miscarriage, and then finally in September I was pregnant and I have actually remained pregnant.
On top of all of that we have had a child diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. We have been through a year and a half of therapy and different doses of medication to try and get her to where children her age should be. and while they seam to help she still isn't as happy as a parent would like to see their young child, and many nights I go to bed in tears because no child should struggle the way she does. So February of this year I finally caved in and got puppy to hopefully help her cope with her anxiety.  While it may help her this puppy has quickly made my stress go through the roof. It would probably be humorous to any on looker. I know nothing about dogs.  so I am constantly looking everything up, and routinely finding the internet to be about as helpful for dog ailments as it is for people ailments.
The one plus thing about having a dog, is my years and years of hounding children to put their things away and keep the house clean have been to no avail,  you get a dog and suddenly the house is spotless because if the kids leave something out the dog quickly destroys it.
As if life weren't crazy enough  The world around us seems to be quickly caving in. The Corona virus has forced most of the world to retract into their houses for personal safety. Schools are shut down and I have been remarkably pleased with how easily my children's school has transitioned into on line instruction. They haven't missed a beet and my three children sit with their own individual chrome books, talking to teachers and class mates, and doing their school work from the living room couch or  the kitchen table.  That being said,  they miss their friends tremendously. I am working from home to protect me during pregnancy.  I read news articles about how good this has been on families because it has brought them closer together, however, for my family we are finding it more and more difficult just to tolerate each other.
Just to poor salt on the wound, last Wednesday there was an earthquake and the aftershocks just keep going and my poor four year old is just rattled. While there was no damage to our home,  it was very unsettling and with each aftershock it continues to be unnerving.
Now as I close in on the end of my pregnancy I am forced to stay home,  and am finding it hard to get the basic supplies needed to welcome a new born baby into the world.  the combination of the World Wide pandaemic and an earthquake the shelves at the stores are complete void of things like baby wipes, diapers, medications, food etc.  It makes it difficult to prepare for a baby. and the uncertainties that the virus creates as far as having a baby has created an undo amount of stressed.